Not much new here today. Juan Manuel continues to test us. He has got such a sassy mouth sometimes, and he just pushes and pushes and pushes us to see what he can get away with. He likes to taunt Santiago, turns EVERYTHING into a race, and really makes Satiago feel bad. He got 3 X's on his chart today, as well as losing multiple privelages.
After we finish dinner, the kids have their bath. They alternate who gets to go first, as well as who gets to take a bath with Christian. Well, tonight was Juan Manuel's turn to go first, and his turn to bathe with Christian. Starting about 5 minutes into our dinner, Juan Manuel started teasing Santiago about getting to bathe first. Then he started in on me, asking me about a million times if I was done eating yet, and could I hurry up so that he could take his bath. Then, he decided that he was done eating. So he ripped off all of his clothes, and stood there telling me I should hurry up and help him with his bath.
Not a good move, kiddo. So, just to prove a point that he cannot taunt Santiago, boss me around, and ruin an otherwise enjoyable meal...I took my sweet time and stalled as much as I could with the rest of my dinner. I also told him that I do not enjoy looking at naked little boys while I eat my dinner, and banished him to the other room. I would have shut the door, but by then, he also had Christian so whipped up about taking a bath too, that I was worried the 2 of them would make mischief if I couldn't peek at them from the corner of my eyes from time to time. Just to add a little icing to the cake, Jason brought out a bag of potato chips for him, me, and Santiago to share. When Juan Manuel came running back to the dinner table with his naked self begging for potato chips, we sent him back into the bathroom to wait, since he had been so adamant that he was all finished eating dinner.
Sometimes everything feels like such a struggle with Juan Manuel, and it can be such a challenge not to totally lose our patience with him. After all of the bath nonsense, he was still acting up. While Santiago was finishing up with his bath, Juan Manuel came in the bathroom and said to Santiago and I "ha, ha, we started watching the movie without you". He thought I didn't catch what he said, but I did, and it was the last straw for me. He lost his movie-watching privelage for tonight. He had to sit in the other room with me while Jason, Santi, and Christian watched a movie. I told Juan Manuel that he could play with his toys or color, but no movie. I did not yell at him, just told him that he cannot tell lies to me and he cannot taunt Santiago. He cried and cried and cried, and I sat nearby and read my book. After a while, he slowly by slowly moved closer and closer to me, until he was sitting right next to me on the couch and apologized to me.
He is so hungry for attention and will do anything, good or bad, to receive it. When we have Juan Manuel on time-out, the other 2 boys are surprisingly easy to manage, but when we put all 3 together, Juan Manuel seems to get the other 2 all revved up as well, and it becomes a chaotic circus of 3 whirling dervishes. We can only hope that this will get better in time, and that Juan Manuel will slowly get better at self-regulation, but right now it definitely tries our patience.
We went to church at our hotel today. This morning both Juan Manuel and Santiago were lamenting that they didn't want to go, but we told them that it was not an option.
Our attorney called us tonight. She will be back to work tomorrow, and will let us know as soon as she hears anything from the courts.
That's it from here for today. Hopefully our meals will be a little bit more peaceful tomorrow, or at the very least, we will all remain fully clothed for the full duration!!
I have loved following your journey! It brings back many memories - so long ago and some recent. While there are no guarantees, it generally does get better. They will begin to believe that you love and care for them and will never leave. That they can trust what you say. You will continue to get to know them and what "works" for each one. You will get home and get into a routine where life for you is more normal and it will be easier for you. They will have a whole new adjustment to go through, but being back in your home and where there is support close will make it easier for you to deal with the daily chaos. You will think that there is no more patience left and God will give you a little more.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing so many things right, but it does take time. Keep a sense of humor, laugh at how crazy it is, continue to give each other breaks and just keep saying "it's going to get better". I remember saying to myself about one of our boys in particular (ironically Juan Pablo) "just wait til we get home!" because I knew that once we were there it would be easier to get a handle of things. And while he didn't improve overnight, it was easier to cope with him when I was getting a good nights rest in my own bed, eating familiar foods and just living a "normal" life.
Hang in there!
Your instincts and parenting skills are excellent! The consistency and routine that you are providing for the boys is wonderful. I can tell from your Blog that the boys are making tons of progress in learning rules and are becoming more respectful. Sometimes, in the moment, it may not seem like things are moving forward, but they really have learned a lot in a very short time. It won't be long now and you'll be back in MN. Life will be easier then as you can control so many more variables. Love to you all. Aunt Adele
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