This mami is getting very excited/nervous/anxious to meet her sons! I am starting to have a harder time sleeping, as I seem to wake up with my mind racing through hundreds of thoughts. I am making mental lists, thinking about all of the adoption/parenting books that I wish I would have had time to read, trying to remember all of the advice from the ones I did read, thinking about what I need to pack (haven't started yet...maybe I should and then I'd feel better?). Many times, I lay there trying to think of the Spanish word or phrase for something, or lay there conjugating verbs (what a geek, right?). I just can't seem to turn my brain off!
Throughout our adoption journey, I have sort of ebbed and flowed through cycles like this. Right before we submitted our dossier to Colombia, I was having recurring stress dreams: I had to take a P-Chem test that I hadn't studied for (here I am, 14 years out from Dr. Roskos's P-Chem class, and I still stress about it!), I was hosting a party but I didn't have enough food and wasn't prepared. I think I see a pattern here: there's a "task", and in my mind, I'm not sufficiently prepared...if only I had studied more, cooked more...fill in the blank, you get the picture.
OK, so I admit that letting go of the details and trusting that everything is going to be ok can sometimes be a challenge for me. I'm a pragmatist, a scientist, an ISFJ through and through, what can I say? At times like this though, when I feel the most scattered and stressed, I also need to have the most faith that God is with us on this journey, that I can stop worrying about the minutiae and put my trust in Him. Who better to trust? Now if only I could remember all of those soon-to-be important phrases while I lie awake in bed..."Don't hit your brother!"..."No biting!"..."Wash your hands!" :)
On a different note, as we expected, we have heard nothing this week about our travel dates. This is not a huge surprise, but what it does mean is that the time right before we leave for Colombia has the potential to become extremely hectic. There are a few more "process" things that need to happen before we go:
1. Get our approved travel dates
2. Book Jason and my airline tickets
3. Get our Colombian Special Visitor Visas (SVV's), in-person at the Consulate in Chicago
As we have found out, we have to do these final steps in this order. We were hoping that we could do steps 2 and 3 before step 1. The Consulate won't issue the SVV's unless you have a purchased return ticket to the US, so we called several travel agents, wondering if we could book airline tickets that were open-ended on both ends of our trip...nope. The price penalties for doing so are quite high, so it's a no-go. So instead of going to Chicago last week or this week, it looks like we will probably end up having to go to Chicago right before we travel to Colombia. A trip right before "the trip"...ugh. Oh well, we will hope for the best, prepare for anything, and count down the days until we are approved to go!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas Recuperation
We are back home after spending the Christmas weekend with family. We had a great time, and safe travels. I think that Jason and I are kind of worn out, and even our dog, Ruby, seems to be resting and recuperating today. Throughout this holiday season, we have so often thought of our boys. We continuously pray for their health and safety, and also that they are able to process and cope with all of the big changes that are soon to take place in their lives...and in our lives too!
One of my sister's friends visited us over the weekend, and brought us a ton of gently used clothing that should be about Christian's size. Thank you so much! We bought a pair of shoes for each boy this weekend. We totally guessed at sizes, and are thoroughly prepared for them to be wrong, but at least we have something, and maybe we'll get lucky! We are also starting to get ready for the miscellaneous things we'll need for traveling...on the advice of another mom who adopted from Colombia, we are loaded up with RID (anti-lice shampoo/treatment)!
We heard from our social worker last week that our Article 5 letter has been approved, and we are waiting (very excitedly and anxiously!) to receive our approved travel dates. With the holidays, however, we suspect that most everything will move very slowly, or not at all, for the next week or so. It really feels like we are getting close now...probably just a few weeks until we meet the boys....whoa...deap breath! Just like the past weeks have though, I am sure the time will fly by, and we'll be on our way before we know it.
One of my sister's friends visited us over the weekend, and brought us a ton of gently used clothing that should be about Christian's size. Thank you so much! We bought a pair of shoes for each boy this weekend. We totally guessed at sizes, and are thoroughly prepared for them to be wrong, but at least we have something, and maybe we'll get lucky! We are also starting to get ready for the miscellaneous things we'll need for traveling...on the advice of another mom who adopted from Colombia, we are loaded up with RID (anti-lice shampoo/treatment)!
We heard from our social worker last week that our Article 5 letter has been approved, and we are waiting (very excitedly and anxiously!) to receive our approved travel dates. With the holidays, however, we suspect that most everything will move very slowly, or not at all, for the next week or so. It really feels like we are getting close now...probably just a few weeks until we meet the boys....whoa...deap breath! Just like the past weeks have though, I am sure the time will fly by, and we'll be on our way before we know it.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
It's All OK In Cloquet
Have you ever tried to fit 3 car seats into the back seat of a mid-sized sedan? Neither had we until last week. It wasn't pretty. The third seat just wouldn't cram in there, and ended up sort of tilted and perched on the edge of oblivion. Groan.
We knew that we were going to need to do something about our vehicle situation, but were totally not looking forward to going car shopping, especially amidst all of the other chaos that happens this time of the year. We inwardly cringed at the thought of giving up our pickup in exchange for a minivan...or a full sized van...or maybe even a bus! So we trudged to the car dealership, and thus began our search for the "right" vehicle.
We went to Cloquet Ford, and as we walked in the door we actually kind of felt sorry for whoever was going to have to help us. We had no idea what we wanted, and we weren't especially happy to be spending a Saturday shopping for vehicles. Enter Jimmy Saice, sales consultant. Unfazed by Jason's grumpiness or our lack of direction, Jimmy hung in there with us until we narrowed things down.
We started looking at SUV's with 3rd row seating. They were ok, but that 3rd row felt so far away, practically in its own time zone. We haven't waited all these years for kids just to put them as far away from us as possible. We decided to look at a crew cab pickup more as a "rule it out" kind of move. Lo and behold, we actually loved it.
The pickup we test drove didn't have running boards, and I, the graceful thing that I am, had to do sort of a belly flop onto the back seat to try and get in. Good thing I am not proud, and good thing that Jason was the only one to see me do it. The car seats all fit in the back seat, no problem. Jason and I sort of like the idea of piling the family into 2 rows of seating. Hey, I had to do it with my sisters when I was a kid, and although I am sure we all felt tortured at the time, I actually have some great stories and memories from being crammed together in the backseat. I could write another whole blog post on that topic...
Anyways, Jimmy was a real trooper. He kept things light, but was informative at the same time. Then came the time to talk numbers. Jason and I had a bottom line number in mind that we would be happy with, and Jimmy was able to beat that number. Imagine our surprise and delight...an early Merry Christmas to us, and a big thanks to the fine folks at Cloquet Ford. And, because he was such a great guy to work with, here's his plug: If you need to buy a vehicle, go see JIMMY SAICE at Cloquet Ford!! Thanks for everything, Jimmy!
We knew that we were going to need to do something about our vehicle situation, but were totally not looking forward to going car shopping, especially amidst all of the other chaos that happens this time of the year. We inwardly cringed at the thought of giving up our pickup in exchange for a minivan...or a full sized van...or maybe even a bus! So we trudged to the car dealership, and thus began our search for the "right" vehicle.
We went to Cloquet Ford, and as we walked in the door we actually kind of felt sorry for whoever was going to have to help us. We had no idea what we wanted, and we weren't especially happy to be spending a Saturday shopping for vehicles. Enter Jimmy Saice, sales consultant. Unfazed by Jason's grumpiness or our lack of direction, Jimmy hung in there with us until we narrowed things down.
We started looking at SUV's with 3rd row seating. They were ok, but that 3rd row felt so far away, practically in its own time zone. We haven't waited all these years for kids just to put them as far away from us as possible. We decided to look at a crew cab pickup more as a "rule it out" kind of move. Lo and behold, we actually loved it.
The pickup we test drove didn't have running boards, and I, the graceful thing that I am, had to do sort of a belly flop onto the back seat to try and get in. Good thing I am not proud, and good thing that Jason was the only one to see me do it. The car seats all fit in the back seat, no problem. Jason and I sort of like the idea of piling the family into 2 rows of seating. Hey, I had to do it with my sisters when I was a kid, and although I am sure we all felt tortured at the time, I actually have some great stories and memories from being crammed together in the backseat. I could write another whole blog post on that topic...
Anyways, Jimmy was a real trooper. He kept things light, but was informative at the same time. Then came the time to talk numbers. Jason and I had a bottom line number in mind that we would be happy with, and Jimmy was able to beat that number. Imagine our surprise and delight...an early Merry Christmas to us, and a big thanks to the fine folks at Cloquet Ford. And, because he was such a great guy to work with, here's his plug: If you need to buy a vehicle, go see JIMMY SAICE at Cloquet Ford!! Thanks for everything, Jimmy!
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| Jimmy giving us the keys to the crew cab pickup |
Monday, December 20, 2010
Walking In Faith
Last week I spoke with a family that adopted 3 siblings from Colombia, two years ago. It was a difficult conversation, that left both Jason and I somewhat shaken. The parents basically stated that the last two years of their lives have felt like hell, and encouraged us to strongly consider what we are about to embark on. Wow. The transition for them and their 3 children has been much more difficult than they ever could have imagined. In public the children appear to be well-adjusted and happy, however in the privacy of their home the kids behave totally differently, and not in a good way. At least one of their children displays Reactive Attachment Disorder, and they have struggled with many many difficulties.
We learned a lot about the potential risks of international adoption and older child adoption in our pre-adoption training classes. Some of the severe cases of Reactive Attachment Disorder are absolutely terrifying. Jason and I debated at length whether we thought that we could parent "older" children that may have had painful, difficult early lives. We really searched our souls on this... Do we think we have the capacity to help these little people heal from their early hurts and losses? Do we have the capacity to love and commit to kids that may outwardly reject us or hurt us out of fear of being rejected themselves? Can we really do this?
We believe that the answer is yes. We hope and pray that our boys will be resilient, and that they have not suffered at the hands of the adults they have known, and that they will have the capacity to heal given lots of love and time. We feel that we are truly moving forward with steps of faith. There is so much that we don't know about our boys. But we do know that great reward can come from great difficulty. And what better thing to commit your life to than to help a child...or 3 children?
Maybe we are naive, or maybe just hopeful. Perhaps our sons will adjust with ease, we hope for this. However, some days we feel scared to death about what could be. Yet...we continue to move toward our sons, knowing that we may be pushed farther than we ever imagined, and hopefully grow more than we ever could have forseen. We pray that they are safe, and we thank everyone who is praying right along with us.
We learned a lot about the potential risks of international adoption and older child adoption in our pre-adoption training classes. Some of the severe cases of Reactive Attachment Disorder are absolutely terrifying. Jason and I debated at length whether we thought that we could parent "older" children that may have had painful, difficult early lives. We really searched our souls on this... Do we think we have the capacity to help these little people heal from their early hurts and losses? Do we have the capacity to love and commit to kids that may outwardly reject us or hurt us out of fear of being rejected themselves? Can we really do this?
We believe that the answer is yes. We hope and pray that our boys will be resilient, and that they have not suffered at the hands of the adults they have known, and that they will have the capacity to heal given lots of love and time. We feel that we are truly moving forward with steps of faith. There is so much that we don't know about our boys. But we do know that great reward can come from great difficulty. And what better thing to commit your life to than to help a child...or 3 children?
Maybe we are naive, or maybe just hopeful. Perhaps our sons will adjust with ease, we hope for this. However, some days we feel scared to death about what could be. Yet...we continue to move toward our sons, knowing that we may be pushed farther than we ever imagined, and hopefully grow more than we ever could have forseen. We pray that they are safe, and we thank everyone who is praying right along with us.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Yvonne
We had our third, and final, shower for the boys last weekend. Our dear friend, Yvonne, put together such a nice party, and I wish that it hadn't gone by so quickly! The food was delicious (wild rice soup, Krumkakke, and Lady Baltimore cake just to mention a sampling...yum!) Again, the outpouring of generosity and kindness towards our family and our sons was truly humbling. The snow storm that we had been watching missed us in Duluth, but absolutely punished areas further to the south. Several loved ones were unable to come to the shower due to the weather, and they were very much missed. Weather is not always cooperative during Minnesota's winter, but everyone is safe and sound, and we wouldn't have it any other way!
Here are a few pictures from the party. Thank you, Kimberly, for snapping all of these shots...I think you got a picture of everyone except yourself!
Here are a few pictures from the party. Thank you, Kimberly, for snapping all of these shots...I think you got a picture of everyone except yourself!
I'd like to say a few words about my friend, Yvonne. Yvonne and I have known each other for about six years. We met while volunteering at a local hospital. Here's a picture of us "on the job"!
Every now and again we come across people in our life who are like a gift...and that's what Yvonne and her husband, Tom, are to Jason and I. I think that the 4 of us have all "adopted" each other, and Jason and I consider Tom and Yvonne to be our family. We have shared some wonderful memories over the years. Yvonne was my partner in crime with the turkey bonanza (see previous post), and she is always ready to have fun. Yvonne and I both LOVE to bake, and we have shared many recipes, from time-tested favorites to new-found experiements (sometimes good, sometimes disastrous!). Tom and Yvonne taught Jason and I how to fish for trout, and as Tom always says..."Once you catch your first trout, you'll be hooked! There's nothing like it!" How true!
Yvonne and Tom have been such wonderful friends to us over the years, and we are so lucky and blessed to know them. Thank you to you both for all that you did to make the shower so special, and for all of your love, support, and excitement in welcoming and embracing three new members to our family!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Helper Elf Dianna
I think I mentioned this in my last post, but my mom has been staying with us this past week, and she has been such a great help. While I have had many different commitments and "to do" items pulling me every which way this week, Mom has been steadily plugging away in the background, helping to keep the household running full steam ahead. The laundry and dishes have been done, the house is clean, some Christmas presents have been wrapped, and I am so grateful! Mom and Precious, my furry "little sister" have been great company this week, and the week has flown by. We have managed to get in a few games of Scrabble, and I think Mom and I are tied so far.
Yesterday was a big day for paperwork. We faxed our DS230's (the boys' US Visa applications) to the US Embassy in Colombia. I was also able to finalize our latest round of updated documents for the dossier, and FedEx'ed them to Colombia yesterday. Our next step is to wait to receive our approved travel dates. Then we can book our tickets and apply for our Visas (travel, not credit). We are keeping our fingers crossed that we will receive travel approval next week.
My dad arrived late last night, his vehicle loaded down with all of the toys from last weekend's shower that we couldn't fit in our car. The boys' rooms are quickly filling up, now all we need is our sons themselves! We are getting very excited as the days count down, and have so much to be grateful for.
We have one more shower left to go, being hosted by my dear friend, Yvonne, and Jason's Aunt Lea. Mother Nature is not feeling totally cooperative however, and a severe winter storm is potentially brewing. We are staying tuned to the weather stations, and want everyone to put safety first! (I sound like an OSHA poster...must be from all of those years working as a chemist) It will be a wonderful day regardless of the weather. In the mean time, Jason and my dad are plotting about the low pressure system moving in, and hoping that the fish bite will turn "on"...you guessed it, they are hitting the ice! Mom and I will resume our Scrabble tournament and sit by the Christmas tree.
Yesterday was a big day for paperwork. We faxed our DS230's (the boys' US Visa applications) to the US Embassy in Colombia. I was also able to finalize our latest round of updated documents for the dossier, and FedEx'ed them to Colombia yesterday. Our next step is to wait to receive our approved travel dates. Then we can book our tickets and apply for our Visas (travel, not credit). We are keeping our fingers crossed that we will receive travel approval next week.
My dad arrived late last night, his vehicle loaded down with all of the toys from last weekend's shower that we couldn't fit in our car. The boys' rooms are quickly filling up, now all we need is our sons themselves! We are getting very excited as the days count down, and have so much to be grateful for.
We have one more shower left to go, being hosted by my dear friend, Yvonne, and Jason's Aunt Lea. Mother Nature is not feeling totally cooperative however, and a severe winter storm is potentially brewing. We are staying tuned to the weather stations, and want everyone to put safety first! (I sound like an OSHA poster...must be from all of those years working as a chemist) It will be a wonderful day regardless of the weather. In the mean time, Jason and my dad are plotting about the low pressure system moving in, and hoping that the fish bite will turn "on"...you guessed it, they are hitting the ice! Mom and I will resume our Scrabble tournament and sit by the Christmas tree.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Getting Closer
We are getting closer and closer! As Jason mentioned in his post, we received our I800 approvals for each of the boys yesterday. My mom has been staying with us this week, and I think she danced a little jig when we opened the mail and saw the I800's! :)
We should have our approved travel dates soon, and then things will really kick into high gear. Throw a couple of holidays in the mix, and before you know it, we will be on our way to meet our sons. It feels like there is still so much to do before we travel, but we will just have to prioritize and accomplish whatever we can in the next few weeks.
We had a "travel meeting" last week with our social worker, B, to go over lots of the basics we'll need to know about our trip to Colombia. We haven't started to pack yet, but our wheels are all ready turning on that front. We are trying to be as clever and compact as we can when we think about what to bring, but with 2 adults and 3 kids for up to 5 weeks, I somehow suspect that we will have a monstrosity of luggage. We normally try to travel light, and so we sort of cringe to envision the mountain of suitcases we will likely bring along with us (especially now that they charge per each piece of checked baggage!)...hope they have lots of luggage carts at the airports!
As many of you know, my mom, dad and sisters hosted a shower for us last weekend, and it was an awesome day. We can't say thank you enough to them, and to everyone who came, and the love and support we have received has been truly amazing. We had such a fun day with everybody, and it was so wonderful to see family and friends, and makes me wish that we lived closer to everybody.
Some of my favorite moments from the day were with the kids who came to the party. Leia telling me that "My mom said I can help hand you the presents, as long as I promise not to open any". Leia's little sister, Raya, sampling a swipe of frosting from every piece of cake on the table...until she got busted! :) (A girl after my own heart...who can resist cake with lots of frosting?!?) And little Brianna handing me a present and saying "Here, open the movie first". Out of the mouths of babes....right? Seeing all of the kids running around having fun makes me so excited to be a mom. For so many years, it has been a hope and a dream, but soon it will be a reality and we will be chasing around after our own children. I can hardly wait, but at the same time, am trying to appreciate our last days BK (Before Kids), and enjoying our sleep now!
Talking to family and friends about our excitement, and sometimes nervousness, about being new parents has been great...lots of excellent advice from experienced parents, and so much love and support. So many people have helped to encourage and lift us up, and we are so grateful. Thanks again to everyone for such a great day!
We should have our approved travel dates soon, and then things will really kick into high gear. Throw a couple of holidays in the mix, and before you know it, we will be on our way to meet our sons. It feels like there is still so much to do before we travel, but we will just have to prioritize and accomplish whatever we can in the next few weeks.
We had a "travel meeting" last week with our social worker, B, to go over lots of the basics we'll need to know about our trip to Colombia. We haven't started to pack yet, but our wheels are all ready turning on that front. We are trying to be as clever and compact as we can when we think about what to bring, but with 2 adults and 3 kids for up to 5 weeks, I somehow suspect that we will have a monstrosity of luggage. We normally try to travel light, and so we sort of cringe to envision the mountain of suitcases we will likely bring along with us (especially now that they charge per each piece of checked baggage!)...hope they have lots of luggage carts at the airports!
As many of you know, my mom, dad and sisters hosted a shower for us last weekend, and it was an awesome day. We can't say thank you enough to them, and to everyone who came, and the love and support we have received has been truly amazing. We had such a fun day with everybody, and it was so wonderful to see family and friends, and makes me wish that we lived closer to everybody.
Some of my favorite moments from the day were with the kids who came to the party. Leia telling me that "My mom said I can help hand you the presents, as long as I promise not to open any". Leia's little sister, Raya, sampling a swipe of frosting from every piece of cake on the table...until she got busted! :) (A girl after my own heart...who can resist cake with lots of frosting?!?) And little Brianna handing me a present and saying "Here, open the movie first". Out of the mouths of babes....right? Seeing all of the kids running around having fun makes me so excited to be a mom. For so many years, it has been a hope and a dream, but soon it will be a reality and we will be chasing around after our own children. I can hardly wait, but at the same time, am trying to appreciate our last days BK (Before Kids), and enjoying our sleep now!
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| My Mom, trying not to stab me with a pin! |
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| Sisters! |
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| Mmmmmmmmm...frosting! |
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| A super-cool easel from Auntie Chrissy! |
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| My little helper, and a card she made for the boys |
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| Dad and Rob, helping load and unload all of the party stuff! |
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| Jason, ready to go. |
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Precise Paperwork Pays Precious Premiums
It is with great joy that I can report the I800 is approved! Nicole's diligent and excellent work with all of the paper work has payed off. The approval of the I800 is a major paper work hurdle. The I800 approves us to adopt the boys by the U.S. government and clears the way for them to become U.S. citizens the instant we land on our return trip. The approval of the I800 moves us one major step closer to getting our exact travel date, which we should have in 7-10 days.
Thank you for all of you kind words, gererous gifts and heart felt support. Jason
Thank you for all of you kind words, gererous gifts and heart felt support. Jason
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Showers and Fireballs
It's been a very busy week. We hosted Thanksgiving at our house, and had fabulous food and company. We all agreed that it was one of the best Thanksgiving meals in memory...my mouth waters just at the thought of Lea's bourbon sweet potatoes - YUM! Thank you Lea for all of your help and a fun day in the kitchen!
On Friday we got our tree and rearranged the living room furniture yet again! (I think that's the 3rd time in a month, but who's keeping track?!) The tree is trimmed, the Christmas village is out, the outdoor lights are strung, and Bing Crosby is singing away in the background.
On Sunday, Jason's family hosted our first shower to welcome the boys. It was a great day of visiting with family, delicious food, and a fun time. Thank you so much to Debbie, Grandma and Katie for making the day so nice. It was wonderful to see relatives that we haven't gotten to see in a long time. And it was great to get to talk with our cousin whose family is also completing an international adoption. They are adopting from Jamaica, so all of the country-specific "stuff" is different, but a lot of the process on the US-side remains similar, and of course the emotional ups and downs of a waiting, worrying family are shared. Their family still waits for a referral, and we keep them in our prayers that everything will proceed smoothly.
On Friday we got our tree and rearranged the living room furniture yet again! (I think that's the 3rd time in a month, but who's keeping track?!) The tree is trimmed, the Christmas village is out, the outdoor lights are strung, and Bing Crosby is singing away in the background.
On Sunday, Jason's family hosted our first shower to welcome the boys. It was a great day of visiting with family, delicious food, and a fun time. Thank you so much to Debbie, Grandma and Katie for making the day so nice. It was wonderful to see relatives that we haven't gotten to see in a long time. And it was great to get to talk with our cousin whose family is also completing an international adoption. They are adopting from Jamaica, so all of the country-specific "stuff" is different, but a lot of the process on the US-side remains similar, and of course the emotional ups and downs of a waiting, worrying family are shared. Their family still waits for a referral, and we keep them in our prayers that everything will proceed smoothly.
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| Jason and Grandma Mickey |
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| The whole gang (except Debbie, who's taking the picture!) |
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| ME! |
Our FBI fingerprint background clearances came in the mail this week. We have a growing stack of papers to be sent down to Colombia as an update to our dossier, and this was the final thing we were waiting for. While we were waiting for these documents to arrive in the mail, imagine our horror a couple of weeks ago when we received this letter in the mail instead:
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? The mail carrier's car BURNED DOWN?!? The first thing we did was check with the FBI to make sure that our clearance letters hadn't been sent out and burned to ashes in the fire ball that used to be our mailman's car. This may be the only time I was happy that the FBI is slow at processing background checks, but luckily ours were still in the processing que and hadn't been completed yet. Whew! So now we have them safely in hand, and just have to get them safely to Colombia.
We will have a meeting this Friday with our social worker, B, and we have a growing list of questions as we get closer to traveling. Lots to think about, but we are still trying to keep our heads together.
That's all for now. Looking forward to seeing many of you in the upcoming weeks!
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